Author: Holly

The Wait

On By HollyIn God's Word, TrialLeave a comment

I have a friend who cannot wait. Literally, she cannot wait for the ending. She Googles movies before she watches them so she knows how it ends. She reads the end of the book first. She doesn’t like surprises. She wants to know when and where it will all happen. I was reminded of this while continuing my study in the Old Testament. I came to the part recently of the Israelites, ALMOST to the Promised Land. In Deuteronomy 11 Moses is preparing them and reminding them of the laws and commands and words of the Lord. For you are about to cross the Jordan to go in to possess the land which the Lord your God is giving you, and you shall possess it and live in it, and you shall be careful to do all the statutes and the judgements which I am setting before you today. Deuteronomy 11:31. I knew the outcome but still in reading those verses I was filled with the anticipation of it, and wondered if they felt that too. Was the air electric with praise and thanksgiving? Were they just beside themselves, so close they could taste it? Were they hasty and rushed and ready for it to hurry up and get here? Were they trying to look ahead and “google” the outcome? Twenty two chapters later, a new book began and finally in Joshua 3 they crossed the Jordan!! Even when I know the outcome, the promise, I can get impatient, instead of trusting what His perfect Word tells me. Not one of the good promises which the Lord has made to the house of Israel failed; all came to pass. Joshua 21:45.

God knows we will be tempted to turn away, to not trust whole heartedly 100% and that we can be tempted to worship other things in the waiting. Beware that your hearts are not deceived and that you do not turn away and serve other gods and worship them. Deuteronomy 11:16.. I can be tempted to worship the gods of “more”, “comfort”, and “now”. I want more spiritual growth quicker and faster. I want the comfort of knowing that family members will be saved. I want my circumstances to change now. There are things I am waiting on and in all of these areas of “the wait” I can see God using them to grow my trust, to prune and shape ugly things out of me, to reach and encourage others. He is delivering on His promises, in His perfect timing and His perfect way. Kingdom work is being done! Just as the Israelites were being taught to trust God all those years before the Promised Land, everything we are going through now is preparing us and others for our time with Him!!

One of the verses I love is short and simple and may just be a literal physical direction from God but to me it speaks of His perfect knowledge and sovereignty of when and where we need to do what and how. You have circled this mountain long enough, now turn north. Deuteronomy 2:3. Oh friends, I know some of you have been circling the same mountain, waiting. Fill your heart with all the many verses God speaks about the beauty of the wait. The trust He is growing, the longing for Him He is increasing, the humility that will be used to serve Him and His people, it is all good for us. For me, when I have a “NO LORD, NOT THIS, I DON’T WANT TO!!”moment, He leads me by His grace, to a place where I surrender and say “Yes Lord, I trust You.” That doesn’t always happen as immediately as I would like, but it is a promise He keeps. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain. Hebrews 6:19. The covenant standard isn’t the law anymore but is faith and hope in Christ!!! When we have that we cannot fail, and God never leaves us! Serving the Lord with joy and a glad heart, for the abundance of all things is the standard in Deuteronomy 28:47. The abundance of all things isn’t money or physical blessing it is an abundance of humility, abundance of peace, and abundance of righteousness. When we are waiting, when we are circling the mountain, and are serving with joy and gladness God is giving us those abundant riches spiritually on earth as we wait for the return of Christ and our complete sanctification. How GOOD of Him to grow us now, how LOVING of Him to give us circumstances to grow our trust and faith in Him so we can share it with others. Friends, I pray that you will be encouraged in the wait, and with great anticipation of what God has when He tells you it is time to turn north!

He is Strong

On By HollyIn Adoption, God's Word2 Comments

I have started Judges this morning, and a theme has come forward. More like a big exclamation point!!!!!!!!! with arrows screaming >>>>>>>>”LOOK AT THIS HOLLY, MEDITATE ON THIS, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU”. Do you ever get messages from God like that when you are reading His Word? This morning I knew was going to be a “writing” morning for me, God made that clear.

The Israelites have been delivered to the promised land. They have been given their inheritance, their land, and have begun to conquer the land by God’s hand. A little background in Exodus shows God told them “I will deliver the inhabitants of the land into your hands and you will drive them out before you.” Exodus 23:31. This is a promise from God. Then in verses 32-33 He commands them “You shall make no covenant with them or their gods. They shall not live in your land because they will make you sin against me. For if you serve their gods it will be a snare to you.”

If God promises He will deliver, if He says you WILL drive them out of your land, it should happen, right? Fast forward to Judges 1:19 “but they could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley because they had iron chariots.” This seems reasonable, the Canaanites had superior weapons, iron chariots, so in this instance they just couldn’t quite drive them out of the land. This is where it began. The lesson. This is where I saw that the Israelites started trusting in their flesh to accomplish the task, and didn’t have faith in God’s power, that is when it failed. The excuses began, “it’s just too hard”, “they are too strong”, “I’m doing the best I can”, which then leads to the slippery slope of “will it really hurt if they stay here”, “we can still control them into forced labor”, “I can still honor you God, but live amongst something that could make me sin”. See where this is going? What have I let stay inhabited in my life, my heart, my thoughts, because I thought the iron chains of its hold on me were too strong, or that it is just my personality, or it really isn’t hurting me, or any other excuses I come up with other than obedience. Where do I stop trusting in God and his might and power lived out in my life and instead try to work through my flesh only and try to conquer things my way or think I can ignore them?

Is God always right? He is. Judges 2:11-12 tells us the Israelites “did evil in the sight of the Lord and served the Baals, and they forsook the Lord, the God of their fathers, who had brought them out of the land of Egypt, and followed other gods from among the gods of the peoples who were around them, and bowed themselves down to them.” God knows what is GOOD for us and what is not. He wants to protect us from those snares and traps and slippery slopes.

God promises us we have the power to obey Him in all instances, because when we are saved, when we place our faith in Christ, we have the same power that raised Him from the dead. God gives us the grace through Christ to cover all of our sins, our covenant is secure, God will never leave us, but letting our minds wander away from the fixed truth of His power and might in us, produces disobedience and sin. I am weak but He is strong. The little kids song teaches us that, and His Word is full of that strength that is now part of us! Isaiah 40:29 says “He gives strength to the weary , and to him who lacks might He increases power.” That is why Paul can boast about his weaknesses, that is where the power is perfected. (2Corinthians 12:9). But it is HIM, it is not of us. He has me there. My heart is prostrate on the ground in awe of His goodness as I cry out to Him for humility and to take “ me” out of the equation, at the same time my soul is standing tall by the Holy Spirit giving me strength through the power of Christ in me to be ready and obedient. He is teaching me about His strength that is in me, EXACTLY, at the time I need it more than ever. I wasn’t searching for a lesson in God’s power this morning but that is what He gave me. He is cleaning out my heart and reminding me there is no excuse for sin, no matter what “hard” life circumstance I am in. I must be in tuned to His Word, to His whispers, of how to live my life so when it gets to the really tough parts my belief in His power will produce obedience. Examples of this in my life look like this….

Put your phone down, look at your family, be present.(Proverbs 31:27)
Don’t open your mouth and say that. (Philippians 2:14)
Don’t let your mind wander to that place. (2 Corinthians 10:5)
Don’t look/read/watch/listen to that. (1 Corinthians 6:12)
Get up, you need Me more than sleep. (Psalm 1:2-3)

When I ignore those reminders from God, then I am giving up and saying the iron chariots are too strong to defeat.

As we wade further into this journey of adoption for our family I continue to see God’s faithfulness in preparing me. We will have two boys staying with us for two weeks starting December 25. A gift from the Lord for sure! I don’t know if God is preparing me to be the mom of these two boys or if He is preparing me to only have them for a few weeks to foster. I don’t know if He is preparing me to have strength for going from mom to one child suddenly to mom of three children in a matter of months or if He is growing my faith and strength through Him for the loss I will feel when they leave. But He is preparing me. Today, this lesson of His power in our lives to accomplish ANY task He gives us and the destruction that comes if we don’t, is a perfectly timed lesson. The comfort that gives me, the firm foundation of hope that gives me, is proof of God’s overwhelming love for me. Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised!

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might which He brought about in Christ, when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and gave Him as head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all. Ephesians 1:18-23.

Emmanuel

On By HollyIn Body of Christ, God's Word, TrialLeave a comment

I went to bed last night and woke up this morning feeling some bitterness and “I don’t understandness” creeping back in my heart. I did think about emailing a mentor to “vent” those feelings in the hopes she would console me and give me words of wisdom. I realized thought, there is no conversation I can have with someone that can give me the comfort that praying on my knees can. There is no person to turn to right now that can wrap their arms around me and make me feel better like my Father in heaven can. He is who I need to be turning to. Is He not faithful to deliver that? He is! Every time! Is He not merciful enough to take away my anger and hurt and bitterness? He is! Every time! So instead of calling someone, I went to the text, after I went to my Father on my knees praising Him for what He was about to deliver. Instead of just asking for an answer and asking for comfort I was able to praise Him and thank Him for the answer and comfort He was about to give me! By His grace, I was also able to see my flesh and my disobedience by letting frustration and bitterness and anxiousness come into my heart. Be anxious for NOTHING, but by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let you request be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7. That is exactly what I need; His peace to guard my heart.

I picked up in my Old Testament study and immediately saw where I thought my focus needed to be. May the Lord, the God of the spirit of all flesh, appoint a man over the congregation, who will go out and come in before them, and who will lead them out and bring them in, so that the congregation of the Lord will not be like sheep which have no shepherd. Numbers 27:16-17. I need to be praying for the man that God is preparing to come be our new shepherd at our church. I need to be praying for the current pastors we have who are stepping up in a more visible role as shepherds and teachers. I need to be praying for my heart to be open and inviting to whoever our new server of God’s Word is so he doesn’t feel like he has shoes to fill that are too big. But then…

He saw a large crowd and He felt compassion for them because they were like sheep without a shepherd, and He began to teach them many things. Mark 6:34. We have a shepherd! We have THE Shepherd! He is Emmanuel, He is WITH US. He will and can teach us and change us and grow us as we go to His Word, whether it is on a Sunday or a Tuesday, whether it is by a visiting pastor or a new teaching pastor, God is with us! We are NOT without a Shepherd. We are not without earthly shepherds either. We have the gift of multiple, capable, humble, pastors in our church who are doing just that. The sermon last Sunday was POWERFUL and delivered by a man God used to give us what we needed after a week of goodbyes. He gave us assurance that we WILL receive the Word of God and we WILL receive the gospel message every week. God delivered in a mighty way as we wondered, “what’s next?” They were scattered for lack of a shepherd, and they became food for every beast of the field and were scattered. Ezeckial 34:5. This is NOT us. Satan wants to scatter us, He wants to devour us. He wants to use the words of others to confuse us. Our Shepherd has not left us. We have faith in the Son of God and He is leading us beside quiet waters. He is guiding us in the paths of righteousness.

Those first lessons when I go to God’s Word are good, but there is usually something more to be done, pruning and refining that isn’t on the surface. As I was led to Job 1:21 I was thinking of the gift I had been given and how that gift had been taken away. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Bless be the name of the Lord. That sums up what I need to wash over my heart. God decides when and what and who and how He gives us blessings. When those are taken away His name is still Lord. Bless be the name of the Lord! We deserve none of the gifts we receive. Yet our cup OVERFLOWS with them. We have been given the gift of eternity! We have been given the gift of a relationship with God! We have been given the gift of His Word, and His presence as we pray and get to know Him through His perfect manuscript. This trial I find myself in needs perspective. This trial of losing a faithful, passionate, gospel-teaching, brother and friend in Christ needs perspective. I in no way want to downplay the loss because I would never want to downplay the powerful ministry and way in which God has used this man in our church and in my life. I am hurting over this loss. I only want to highlight perspective. I was able to have this gift. Though only for a few short years, I still had it. Let him go be a gift to others. This trial needs perspective. There is a young girl in our church who has been diagnosed with cancer for a second time after a year of remission. She is singing God’s praises. My trial needs perspective. I am reminded after an email this morning, there are men in prison, dying from their sin, who have family, who are torn apart, who feel as if no one sees their worth. Our trial needs perspective. There are Christians dying, because they are Christians. They do not back down for one second in their faith and proclaiming Jesus as their Lord. My trial needs perspective. We go to an air conditioned beautiful church. We have faithful God honoring men leading us. We have a community of believers surrounding us. We have any avenue we can think of to dig deep into His Word with fellow believers; Women’s Bible study, MOMS, Lifegroups, Men’s Institute, classes offered for training in Evangelism, Discipling, Soul Care, Well Conferences, we are surrounded by solid teaching and ways to learn and grow. OUR CUP OVERFLOWS with ways God wants to teach us and speak to us through these ministries and teachers. My trial needs perspective and I need to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called as Ephesians 4:1 tells us. We are called to make disciples and be followers of Christ. We are not called to just sit in church and listen to a great pastor. As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. 1 Peter 4:10. Let’s serve one another with zeal! Let’s serve our church and our community as the City on a Hill that God put us here to be. I love you friends. I love this church. God is Emmanuel and He IS with us!

My Shepherd

On By HollyIn Body of Christ, God's Word, TrialLeave a comment

This week has been hard. I am dealing with a pastor’s sudden move and I have been grieving and overcome with that loss. I have seen pastors go before, but I considered him and his family friends, and they were the first pastoral family I have had in my life since God has brought me to salvation. There have been a lot of emotions tied up in that.

I have been going to God’s Word for comfort and assurance and I know my faith is  strong. Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like; he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock. And when a flood occurred, the torrent broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. Luke 6:47-48. I felt the flood and torrent coming, but I am not shaken because my foundation is secure.

I have been going to God’s Word seeking unity and peace for our church. So much of my study time this week has been focused on that and I have read and meditated and prayed over many scriptures for my heart and the rest of the body of Christ to be of the same Spirit united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Now may God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus, so that with one accord you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 15:5-6.

On top of this, God wanted to teach me and refine me more, another way He used this situation for good. My husband began a difficult conversation with me about being judgmental. This stemmed from a conversation about someone he knows who I questioned if they were saved because they bore no fruit and just attended church. Also with some discussions we have had about the changes taking place in my church home, and some negative opinions I have received from some friends outside of my church, and my response to them, he told me that there seems to be a judgmental nature in me. He said “as someone who is a Christian, you seem to be passing a lot of judgment.” Ouch. I have been hurting this week and I thought I needed to be comforted but instead I was being pruned. PRAISE GOD FOR THAT! It has really made me look at myself and examine and yes I have been judgmental. That is the exact opposite of what I want to present to my husband and my Savior, and I cried some more over that realization. As much as I want him to see Christ in me, what he saw in this case was hypocrisy. When God shows us our sin though, he makes a way for us to turn from it. When he shows us our sin and brings us to repentance he forgives us. It is out of love He does this and thank God He does! The sweetest blessing in all of this is that He used my unbelieving husband to deliver that message to me. God once again is making a way for my atheist husband to lead me to spiritual refinement and repentance! I was able to tell my husband he is right about my judgmental attitude and that it was sin and that is why I need a Savior! I told him my being a Christian doesn’t mean I am perfect it means I recognize my need to be saved from my sin and I trust in Jesus Christ to do that! Even though seeing my sin was painful, I ALWAYS look forward to those conversations He allows between my husband and I. I was able to text my husband the following day and thank him for the ugly part of me he pointed out and I told him I was putting on love and quoted this scripture. Beyond all these things, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Colossians 3:14-15.

I have been studying the Old Testament chronologically but this week I didn’t go there. I felt like I needed to be searching out words of comfort and unity in the Bible so I put my other study on hold. But after feeling grief again yesterday I decided to pick back up in Numbers where I left on, I prayed for God to deliver in a might way in His Word whatever it was He wanted to show me, and oh He did! In Numbers 20 I received so many lessons in trusting God, His Word will suffice, offending God’s holiness with rash decisions, great leaders will still falter, putting too much confidence in self, impatience at the direction a leader may take us, (poor Moses and his grumbling Israelites!), complaining, and the great message in Numbers 21 about after coming to repentance over sin (which happened after being bitten, ouch, like I was when I heard my husband’s words), and looking at the serpent symbol on the pole they would live, ( looking to Christ on the cross for forgiveness gives us life!). Then the big message came as I was led to John 6 in one of the footnotes. John 6:32-35- Truly, truly I say to you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread out of heaven, but it is My Father who gives you the true bread out of heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down out of heaven, and gives life to the world. John 6:45 – It is written in the prophets “and they shall all be taught of God.” Only those who learn from God come to salvation, and all who learn from Him are saved.

The bread of life comes from God, not His servant. The teaching comes from God, not his servant. I still have ALL I need. The teaching, the message, will still come from God as it always has. My overwhelming grief at the exit of one of our pastors was bordering on worshipping a man instead of God. God gave me a gut check and a lesson that started in Numbers and ended in John. I can miss my friends, I can be thankful for all the wonderful truths and messages delivered by his person, but the Holy Spirit is my teacher and ultimately who I learn from and that will never be taken from me. I will praise God because He tells me to. I will pray because He tells me to and I will be thankful in this because He tells me to. The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His deeds. Psalm 145:17.

Finally brethren, rejoice, be made complete, be comforted, be like minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace be with you. Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the saints greet you. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:11-14.

Respite Care

On By HollyIn AdoptionLeave a comment

Respite Care

We got a call at 3:00 today asking if we could give respite foster care to a boy for the weekend. His foster parents needed to go out of town and couldn’t take him. I left it up to my husband and he said yes. So there is a little one and a half year old boy sleeping in “little sister’s” room right now. He is precious. He hasn’t cried once. I don’t know if that is good or bad. I can’t imagine how he feels. Already in foster care, seeing his mom on visitations, now in a stranger’s house. I can’t imagine, yet he is adapting so easily. He goes back to his foster family Sunday. What a little blessing he is. He is preparing us for when we bring our child home. He is giving us a glimpse of this world that we are getting ready to be a part of, that we already are a part of. He is making it seem more real now. What a gift in a little package that loves cars and bananas and rain and doggies. There is so much we’ve learned about him already, without him saying much. A lot of wondering and contemplating has melted away that I have had about our adopting. Wondering what it is going to be like to bring a child in who we have never met. Wondering if I can immediately scoop them up and nurture and make them family. I know each child is different and the child we adopt will be different and challenges will arise, but this little guy has been a sweet, sweet gift, a reminder of the equipping God does when he calls us to something. “It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.”‭‭Romans‬ ‭9:16‬. Little does he know the impact he already has had. It will be hard to let him go and it’s only a weekend! How do foster parents do it?? A lot of trusting in God! SG and I went into his room while he was sleeping and prayed over him (her idea!!). That is another blessing, I now have a chance to pray for him even when he leaves, another life God has asked us to remember and pray for. Oh what this is teaching SG! I didn’t fully think that through, but I can already see the impact and how her heart is being prepared also. I am so thankful God has put so many people in my life who have experienced fostering and adoption, each family I have already learned so much from. ‬‬‬‬‬‬
I am praying God will continue to teach me through this process as I get a greater understanding of our eternal adoption and this calling to adoption He has brought our family to and that I would humbly put “me” aside in all of this. It is about another person’s soul, this little guy in my house tonight delivered that message so clearly.“for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2:13‬ ‭‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

 

Favor from the Lord

On By HollyIn God's Word, Unequally YokedLeave a comment

God has brought His Word to life for me today in such a specific way. I want to share with you how last month He convicted me, led me to obedience, blessed that obedience and then reassured me in His Word today that He is in control. I am overcome with His goodness. I just spent time, after this great teaching happened, laughing and crying. Tears were streaming but I was also joyously laughing at the amazing love God pours on me. He truly is love. Grace and love and power are just a few of His attributes I was able to see today. He is always all of these things.

Let’s start with last month when I was convicted that I really needed to tread carefully in how I was speaking to my husband about his work. It was a “tear down vs. build up” lesson that God has been teaching me and spotlighting this year. The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. Proverbs 14:1. I decided, by God’s leading, that I would no longer mention or coerce or give my (negative) opinion on the amount of time and energy he gave to work. It used to look like this, “You are taking on too much. You are doing things that you don’t have to do. You are bringing your work home and never really being present, etc…” No change happened. Is that a surprise to anyone? I had preconceived notions of what I thought his time at home should look like and how he should manage his time and what and when he should do what and when. Those of you that know my planning and over planning tendencies can see this being an accurate depiction right?? So my new way, God’s way to speak to my husband about work is this, “Thank you for working so hard for us. Thank you for going above and beyond to provide for us. I appreciate all the many things you do for this family.” About two weeks ago I purposefully started speaking these words of truth to build him up instead of the negative words of destruction. We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor,(or husband in this case), for his good, to build him up. Romans 15:1-2. Now wait for it. Change happened! Most importantly in me, not my husband, but yes there was change in him also.

First, I began to see that my husband is under so much pressure. He is teaching several classes,  he is the director of a new department, he is on several committees, and on top of all that he is a student getting his doctorate. He takes on all this to provide for us and takes on extra volunteer responsibilities at work on committees and such to establish himself among his peers and bosses. So much pressure. He needs no more from me. After my speech changed, he changed. He was so intentional about getting little projects done around the house. He redid my entire bathroom after it had been sitting with a hole in the drywall for a year. Now it is finished and beautiful and he even added special personal touches hanging on the wall. For three days in a row now he has come home, eaten dinner with us, and not taken his computer out of his bag once. No answering emails or texts. He has been home with us, playing, being a family. God can change my husband’s heart. The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it whenever He will. Proverbs 21:1. On this same note, last month God reminded me that He can use my husband to change me. God can use him to sanctify me. My husband isn’t a believer, but God is still my God and he is my husband and His design for our marriage is the same as anyone else. The above verse reminds me of that. God can change my husband’s heart and in this case He changed it in response to my changing attitude. God is so good!

Now here comes the part that I was overcome by. I am doing a bible study and the section I did today was called Building Up or Tearing Down. The very lesson I had  received earlier in the month from God, I was now reading about and every scripture I was now reading was confirming the work God had done. The scriptures that I am referring to today are all from this study and they all applied to my situation that happened earlier in the month. God’s timing is spot on perfect, every time. He knows what we need, when we need it and He sure does write an amazing story in our lives!! The verse that I read that immediately caused the tears and joy filled laughing was Proverbs 18:22 – He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. When I read that word favor, I realized God is doing a good thing in my husband. He is doing an amazing work in our marriage. Every good work He is doing, every promise He is keeping, every conviction of my sin, every time He works and softens my heart in obedience is preparing us to bear much fruit in our marriage and that will glorify God and that is what all of this is for! God is the ONLY way our marriage is working and thriving. My husband doesn’t believe in God. The gravity of that hits me sometimes but then, like today, I am reminded of the power of God that is greater and more powerful than anything and my God is working on my husband. I love being able to see that. I pray that our marriage is already glorifying God by his great power and grace and anticipate how much even more so it will bear fruit when my husband knows and loves God and Jesus Christ as his savior. His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence. 2 Peter 1:3. Most importantly this marriage, what God is doing in my heart, how He convicts me and uses my marriage is preparing me for the day I am with my Lord, my King, for eternity. My eyes are lifted to that truth. That, above all else, is what matters.

One Thing

On By HollyIn God's WordLeave a comment

Luke 10:42 is etched in my brain right now, it comes into my mind so often, daily now, with various events in my life, when others are speaking to me about decisions, trials, etc…my mind keeps going back to those words – but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be take away from her. The beautiful picture painted of Mary seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His Word in  Luke 10:39. Often times when speaking of this verse it is followed with a discussion about how DO we chose that one thing but live in this world where things HAVE to get done, decisions HAVE to be made, things HAVE to get organized, families HAVE to be taken care of, household chores HAVE to be done, ministries HAVE to move forward, we HAVE to serve others. God doesn’t need US to accomplish and do anything.  Our service to our family and our ministry to others is something He LETS us be a part of. On the other hand, we do need Him to accomplish anything and everything in our lives. The Wilmington’s study guide states, “It is more important to hear Him first, before laboring for Him.” It goes back again to our time with the Lord, and how crucial that investment is; it IS the one thing that is necessary.

David speaks in Psalm of this one thing also; One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in His temple. Psalm 27:4. The glory of the Lord was in the tabernacle, then the temple. Mary got to literally be in the presence of the Lord, and we as believers can also behold that glory as the Spirit indwells us. To behold the beauty of the Lord and meditate in His temple, what a gift!

This also ties in the word “dwell”, a word God has brought to my attention in the past. Dwell, abide, remain, a place that is our fortress and refuge. We don’t just have a place to go to when we need shelter, we are already there, abiding in Him, and He in us. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit for apart from Me you can do nothing. John 15:5 We must remain there, not just visit it once in awhile, abide in Him is to “detach ourselves from all else, to reach out after Him and cling to Him, to sink ourselves into Him.” (Murray). The “I in you” cannot come if the “abide in Me” is not maintained. We can do nothing without it.

The fact that Christ asks us to come to Him; let it sink in – is that not just mind blowing?! Sharing the gospel with ourselves daily, is needed, to wrap our brains around what our salvation means. Andrew Murray’s commentary on this John 15 passage again displays it well, “It is a divine reality that words cannot express, we are in Him and He in us. And the words, “abide in me and I in you,” just tell us to believe it, this divine mystery, and to count upon our God and Christ the Vine to make it divinely true. No thinking or teaching or praying can grasp it; it is a divine mystery of love.”

In studying Luke 10:42 today I came across a verse that seemed like just a part of a conversation but today it hit me so sweetly, Martha talking to Mary before Lazarus was resurrected said, The Teacher is here and is calling for you. John 11:28. Let that sentence forever be written on my heart. God has been so generous in His teaching to me lately. Teaching that comes from conviction of sin, teaching that comes from scripture being illuminated into understanding and teaching that goes straight to my heart and exalts my God. My soul exalts the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior. Luke 1:46. His glory is always the result of any teaching I receive. My Teacher IS here and He IS calling for ME, to come to Him daily, in prayer and the reading and meditation of His Word. Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior is available to us every minute of every day. God’s great and true and perfect Word is right in front of us, in our Bibles, on our phones and iPads and by God’s grace is filling our minds as we memorize scripture. Why would I not abide in this great gift daily? A sinner I am, at times a lazy, selfish, full of pride sinner. Let not a day go by that I don’t start, with my very first ounce of energy going to meet God. When Mary heard her Teacher was calling for her she got up quickly and was coming to Him,  John 11:29. Let that be our response when we wake up and open our eyes and know that our Lord is calling for us. I am SO thankful for this continued provision, that He has made a way for me.

So how can Mary do it, and yet still get her chores and volunteering and ministry and fellowship done? But seek FIRST His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33.

Open Hands

On By HollyIn God's WordLeave a comment

I’m reading Exodus and came to Exodus 29 this morning. I love how digging into God’s word ALWAYS produces knowledge of something new but also a heart conviction. I was coming to a place in the Old Testament where I felt the reading was getting monotonous. I was reading with my hands closed, giving nothing to God, and expecting nothing from Him in this seemingly list-centered, descriptive text. I remembered last year when God revealed so much to me from a similar section in Leviticus so I knew He could do it again, I was just getting in the way. God gently reminded me His Word is rich and it is all used for teaching and correcting and training. 2 Timothy 3:16-17- All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work. If I believe the “ALL Scripture”, in this verse then I need to act like it. So I started to STUDY, not just read. I began to look at the notes and the margin and used reference books so I could open my hands and offer God my time and energy and open heart and in turn He delivered a beautiful message.

Exodus 29 describes the ordination and consecration of the Levites to priesthood, starting with Aaron and his sons. It is a beautiful and impressive ceremony that they went through to prepare for meeting with God. We no longer have to do those rituals on the outside to go to Him and spend time with Him but it symbolizes the inward preparedness we must do that God desires of His people when we come to Him in prayer, meditation, worship, or reading His Word. EXCLAMATION POINT,  EXCLAMATION POINT!! The very reason I wasn’t getting anything out of the text earlier is because I wasn’t properly preparing, and the first thing God shows me when I saw I needed to get my heart right was HOW to get my heart right. Matthew 7:8 – For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 1 John 5:14-15 – This is the confidence that we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.

This is what I learned, and the steps I must take to prepare myself.

1. They were cleansed. Then you shall bring Aaron and his sons to the doorway of the tent of meeting and wash them with water. Exodus 29:4. They were a part of the Old Covenant and had to be washed clean before entering the presence of God. We also must draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Hebrews 10:22. This shows us the first step also in drawing near to Him, cleanse our hearts! I need to be sincere when I go to His Word, not just reading to get through Exodus. I need to have full assurance that His Word is good, all of it, and He WILL show me something each time if I go to Him prepared and clean.

2. They were clothed. And put on Aaron the tunic and the robe of the ephod, and the ephod and the breastpiece, and gird him with the skillfully woven band of the ephod; Exodus 29:4. What should I put on before I start my day with the Lord? But put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts. Romans 13:14. Am I more worried about having my coffee and a comfortable chair and the perfect amount of sleep before I get up? Sometimes I am. Having a special place for that time is important, being awake and ready is important, but more than that is the time I NEED to spend with him. So if those things aren’t in place, I still must go. For me, I can use excuses, usually that involve my comfort being taken away, and I will put those before Him. I want to go to God fully dressed in what He says is important for my ultimate good and comfort, eternity with Him. This is a daily battle against the world and distractions and “stuff” in my home but if I can wake up each morning and put on the breastplate of righteousness as the Levite priests put on their breastpiece, then I know my time with God will be rich

3. They were anointed. Then you shall take the anointing oil and pour it on his head and anoint him. Exodus 29:7. They were anointed for God’s purposes; this symbolized the spiritual enduement needed for serving God. They were provided and endowed with the spirit. We are anointed with the Holy Spirit at salvation. But we are continually receiving the filling of the Spirit as a result of obedience and being open to God and His teaching given to us in the Bible. When I go to God each morning I need to be relying on the Holy Spirit to direct and show me and illuminate His Word by believing in Christ and the Word of God as truth. If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’ ” John 7:37-39.

4. They brought a sacrifice. Then you shall bring the bull before the tent of meeting, and Aaron and his sons shall lay their hands on the head of the bull. Exodus 29:10. Later in verse 14 we are told this is the sin offering. To me this is the most beautiful part of the ceremony. Laying their hands on the head of the bull symbolized the animal becoming their substitute, transferring their sins to the sin bearer. What a beautiful picture of what Christ did and continues to do for us. When I go to God in the morning, I need to confess and lay my sin down. I need to let Christ do His work, put on the righteousness given to me by Christ, take the forgiveness given to me and with a clean heart go to His Word. I need to repent with God-centered sorrow, not worldly sorrow and guilt. I need to prepare myself by first letting go of anything in my heart that can get in the way of being led by the Spirit while I am reading God’s Word. He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. Proverbs 28:13.

5. They put blood on their right ear. You shall slaughter the ram, and take some of its blood and put it on the lobe of Aarons’ right ear and on the lobes’ of his sons’ right ears and on the thumbs of their right hands and on the big toe of their right feet…” Exodus 29:20. Putting the blood on their ear was a symbol of their sensitivity to God and His Word. They were set apart to be used by God and know His Word. Just as we Christians are today. God’s Word doesn’t make sense to non believers. We have been given a sensitivity and understanding to it. What a gift! I want to use that, not waste it. My morning time with God in His Word should be full of thanksgiving and praise that I have been given this gift, by His grace, to study His Word. The Levite priest also then put blood on their hands and feet. This symbolized a life of service to others on God’s behalf. Whatever God shows me in scripture, whatever gift He has given me in the body of Christ, I then need to go out and use it. Use it to give an encouraging word to someone from scripture, use it to point someone to what the Bible says in regards to a trial, or use it like now, to share the wonderful and faithful way God will provide for us when we seek His knowledge and wisdom.

What an awesome God we serve, that He would once again open my eyes to understanding and open up a part of His Word to me that I wasn’t gleaning anything from, due to my heart not being right. Oh that I would remember this, and make sure every morning I go to him, cleansed, dressed in Christ’s righteousness, filled with the Holy Spirit, laying my sins down, ready to hear from Him, being sensitive to His teaching so that I can be used for one more day to serve my family, to serve my friends, to serve the body of Christ and to serve my King! Take my instruction and not silver, And knowledge rather than the choicest gold. Proverbs 8:10.

Our Banner

On By HollyIn God's Word, Unequally YokedLeave a comment

The word “banner” has been placed in front of me twice in one day. I have started over reading the bible chronologically and am reading Exodus. Last night I came to the story of the battle against Amalek.

So Moses said to Joshua, “Choose men for us and go out, fight against Amalek. Tomorrow I will station myself on the top of the hill with the staff of God in my hand.” Joshua did as Moses told him, and fought against Amalek; and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. So it came about when Moses held his hand up, that Israel prevailed, and when he let his hand down, Amalek prevailed. But Moses’ hands were heavy. Then they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other. Thus his hands were steady until the sun set. So Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword. Then the LORD said to Moses, “Write this in a book as a memorial and recite it to Joshua, that I will utterly blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven.” Moses built an altar and named it The LORD is My Banner; Exodus‬ ‭17‬:‭9-15‬.

My study bible points out that Moses holding his hands up was a symbol of appeal to God for help and enablement. And the “banner”, recalling Moses’s petition with upraised hands.

Friends, some of you have hands that are getting heavy, growing weary, as you are holding your arms up, displaying God’s banner as you cry out to him for deliverance. Deliverances with trials of health, marriage issues, parenting concerns, depression, addiction, day to day weight of the world. Some of us have been doing so for years, some not as long. There will be seasons we grow tired, BUT God! Just as he delivered Aaron and Hur to Moses we can support each other as we walk side by side in this battle. He has given us a community, He has given us mentors, and most importantly He has given us His Word to guide us in truth! We can encourage and testify to the power of God in defense of His people, just as the Israelites did, led by Moses. We can help hold the hands up of those growing weary at the trial or phase of life they are in. For me, I can be tempted to grow weary in my spiritually unequal marriage. By God’s grace He is enabling my faith to grow stronger and my weariness to grow less.

I write often, so that I can remember ALL that God is doing DAILY! Just as Moses was commanded to “write this in a memorial and recite it to Joseph”, I want to write and memorialize God’s faithfulness. My flesh, my sin nature, can so easily forget. I can complain and grumble just as the Israelites did so often, right after God delivered in a big way. That is why I MUST write it all down.

If I keep my focus on God and not my circumstances I can see blessings upon blessings, I can see daily answered prayers and deliverances, I can see refining in myself and forgiveness by God on my road to sanctification. Those are all the things I want to memorialize.

A friend, a godly mentor, has a prison ministry. He sent me a message recounting his latest visit and that he was moved to the “red unit”, the worst of the worst where they send all the gang members from the other prisons in the state. He was anxious on his first visit in that unit and said “as I walked in the main area there, it was loud, demonic, people crying out in cursing, loud banging and echoing all around. I sat on a plastic chair and opened my bible to Romans and began seeking our God in His word.When my anxious thoughts multiply within me Your consolations delight my soul. I ask our Lord for His sword in remembrance through His Spirit.” After that he had encounters with different men where God’s Word pierced their soul. God provides our protection in EVERY situation by the sword of His Spirit. The second “banner” message I got was at the end of his email to me..

“The Lord has cause my heart to established a banner in His name, and of this I will declare, There is no power of man, nor is their any who can alter nor refute the power and might of His gospel, through the blood and the word of His only Son.” He didn’t know I was reading Exodus and the very same night I read that story of the Amalek battle I got his email.

I am excited to see all that this message of “The Lord is my Banner” will produce in my life. I want to encourage you that when your hands get tired and weary, waiting for the battle to end, waiting for our spouse’s eyes to be open, waiting for “it”to get easier waiting for whatever we feel will make it better, the only TRUE thing we KNOW that needs to lead our life is Christ. We don’t have to wait for that, we already have it!! Sometimes I feel like the waiting defines us. The unequally yoked marriage defines us. The balancing act we have to be ever so aware of defines us. But only if we let it!!

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew‬ ‭11‬:‭29-30‬. I want my identity to be in Christ ALONE.  Our circumstances do not define us. The saving work Christ did on the cross to bring us into God’s graces defines us. We are children of the King!!

Respectable Sin

On By HollyIn Sanctification, Unequally YokedLeave a comment

Oh friends, I just have to share what happened yesterday. So much so that SG is on the couch watching a movie so I can have this time to write! So let’s see if I can get this done before the movie is over…

I decided to try out the Killing Sin Worksheet from the Well conference that my LG leader shared with me since I wasn’t able to attend. I wasn’t sure what sin I was going to write down until I sat down and prayed about it and God began to open my eyes to an area I wasn’t even focusing on. I wrote “I need to put to death the sin of belittling my husband and second guessing his work and parenting decision.” Then, it happened. The floodgates opened from His Word and God laid out a step by step plan of how He was going to conquer this sin in me. It is so good, HE is so good. The passages He used to convict me and even the order of how I read them was a perfect plan of how to accomplish this. Amazing!

First I read Proverbs 21:23, one of the first scriptures I memorized, He who guards His mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from trouble. After my confession my soul WAS troubled. It was deeply torn apart about what I was doing to my husband under the guise of “helping” him. I wasn’t helping, I was tearing him down each time I gave “advice” or my opinion that came from a prideful spirit and not a humble spirit. I wasn’t speaking harshly or out of anger so I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. But God!!! He opened my eyes to this sin that I commit with my mouth and reminded me to guard it closely and for me it boils down to… listen more, talk less.

The second verse was Ephesians 4:29 – Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment so that it will give grace to those who hear. I know this verse well too, but this time when I read it I was reminded of how God had cleansed unwholesome words from my mouth before. I used to have a filthy mouth. A vulgar, dirty, mouth. Once God brought me to salvation that was a big change He did in me. Those words are no longer a part of my vocabulary, they don’t even come to my mind and when I hear them at work they make me cringe. Most people at work try to be respectful of me and not say things around me but I still hear it every day. The fact that they are offensive to me now just shows the POWERFUL cleansing God can do and will do in ALL areas we give to him. So the way I was speaking to my husband when we talked about his work or issues with our daughter was not edifying and were not necessarily needed for the moment. But God!!! He can and will cleanse me from that. So step two in the plan is ask myself, are these words needed in this moment and to ask God to remove all the words from my mouth that are not good for my husband just as He removed all of the filthy words from my mouth I used to say.

Verse three is 1 Peter 3:1 – In the same way you wives be submissive to your own husband so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word, by the behavior of their wives. The Holy Spirit is so powerful, because I again, knew this verse well but yesterday was shown a whole new part of the word “submissive”. I need to be submissive minute by minute, not just in the big decisions. I need to be submissive about all aspects of our marriage by my attitude of humility. I wanted to be submissive except in the areas I felt I was better. Pride. Oh the damage pride can do in a heart. I was being rebellious, the opposite of submissive. I thought I was being submissive because I wasn’t badgering him about our spiritual differences. I wasn’t trying to change him, so I thought. But around every corner I was there to second guess his decision and let him know all I thought about what he SHOULD be doing instead. How he made a sandwich, how he fed the dog, how he dressed SG, his relationship with his boss, his relationship with his students, when he should be on his computer, when the TV should be on, what he left in the car, what he forgot to do, so many things I point out to him about what I think he needs to do differently. The biggest area I can show my submission to my husband is how I speak to him and support his decisions and when it is time for me to help in a decision or give some insight it HAS to be done prayerfully and with God guiding my words, not letting my flesh guide me and spitting out all that I want to say.

The last verse Proverbs 31:10-12 – An excellent wife who can find: For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. THIS is the sweet promise I received yesterday. If I follow God’s plan He has promised that my husband will have “no lack of gain”. And that I will do him “good and not evil all the days of my life”. I thought this was my desire before, I thought I was living that out, but I was so off the mark. I thank God for giving me this new desire. I WANT to do my husband good and not evil. I WANT him to have no lack of gain and God has opened my eyes on how to do that, truly. I have often described my husband as the best unbeliever there is. He supports me in many ways that a lot of husbands don’t in spiritually unequal marriages. That is a gift from God. But even though I say our marriage is good I think I am really thinking, “it is good enough”. For the situation I am in it is good enough. In spite of our spiritual differences it is good enough. Compared to others in my situation who have it a lot worse, it is good enough. But God!!! Yesterday after confessing sin, asking him for nothing except forgiveness what He gave me was a promise of MORE! He has so much more for my marriage than just “good”. If I follow His plan He has shown me that He has something far greater waiting for me and my husband. What a loving God we have. When I thought that we were in a good place and I had settled in to this place in our marriage God said, oh no dear child, you just wait and see what I have in store for you. My submission to my husband is submission to God. That is what I desire more than anything, even if I receive nothing. But God still continues to give and give and give blessings to me. Why me God?? Why are you so good to me?? You are so good to me and shower me with blessing and goodness and always bring my perspective back in focus when I have wandered. The answer to why He is so good to me is because He is God. A perfect Father. A perfect example of love.

After this encounter I could only do one thing. Get down on the ground on my knees with my head down worshipping God. I sang the chorus to one of my new favorite songs, “Holy Spirit you are welcome here, come flood this place and fill the atomosphere, Your glory God is what our hearts long for to be overcome by your presence Lord.” I was overcome by His presence. It was a glorious afternoon of worship and tears as on offering to God and other than the words of the song all I could say was thank you God, thank you Father.

If we confess our sins He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9