Spiritually Unequal Marriage

“Scrambled Eggs” – That is the title my husband thought my blog should be. Get it? Unequally yoked – yolk – eggs. He thought it was hilarious and accurate. He’s right. I thought it was catchy and would bring attention but scrambledeggs.com was already taken. It perfectly describes us though. We don’t take our SUM (Spitirually Unequal Marriage) light hearted but it isn’t an all encompassing cloud hanging over us either. It is part of who we are but it is not ALL of who we are. There will be things I write on here that reference our SUM but it is not all I will write about. I want to write about everything God is doing in my life, everything I am learning from His Word and that is not always going to be about our marriage. We ARE scrambled eggs. I little mixed up, stirred up, whipped up into a fun family. We are not perfect sunny side up eggs. We have visible flaws. We do have some challenges because of our unequally yoked status. We aren’t hard boiled eggs. By God’s grace I don’t nag him about coming to church and he doesn’t impose his will on me and try to get me to change my views. There is no bitterness on either side.  God’s Word tells me exactly what to do.  “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,Your adornment must not be merely external-braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”1 Peter‬ ‭3:1, 3-4‬. God is still working on perfecting my “gentle and quiet spirit”, our marriage is a big part of my sanctification. To read all the ways God is working and His faithfulness is abounding, read the posts categorized under “Uneqaully Yoked”, on the main page.

Grace Rains Down is the title I picked because that is truly why our marriage is thriving. God’s grace has allowed us to travel this journey of a spiritually unequal marriage without many of the bumps, potholes, and wrecks that often happen. Our marriage isn’t wrecked, it’s miraculous. The fact that my husband WANTED to help me come up with a title, the fact that he ENCOURAGED me to write about our spiritual differences, the fact that he SUPPORTS my writing and has even shared something I wrote -about my beliefs, our marriage and how God is carrying me – on his FB page, all of that points to God’s GRACE! My husband doens’t believe it but God is the reason our marriage is so strong. It doesn’t make sense, it is so uncommon, and it defies the odds because of God and God alone.

Now all that being said, do NOT marry someone you are unequally yoked with and hope it turns out like mine. God commands us not to do that. His way and plan for marriage is to be followed.  Our marriage isn’t always easy-peasy.  We just recently had a conversation that was hard. My husband wants to make sure our daughters have a choice in their beliefs and aren’t only being taught one thing. He supports me taking them to church because they learn “good morals”, but my oldest daughter is asking questions and speaking about God more and more. He is worried they are only going to believe what I teach them and won’t have a choice. I told him, I want them to have a choice too. I don’t want my beliefs to be their beliefs. I want them to be their own. Every person has a choice, even in the homes of two believers, the children have a choice. I grew up in a Christian home and did not chose to follow the Lord until my thirties. I know because their daddy isn’t a believer it will even more so be clearly their choice to make. He told me I am probably worried about and not happy about what he may teach them or expose them to. I replied that I am not worried at all because I believe in a God that is sovereign and in control of it all. He has written their story and this part of their life will be part of their testimony. I have no fear for their future. These conversations are getting less  difficult and less uncomfortable the more my faith and relationship with God grows. I am so grateful we can talk about these things without anyone getting upset. There are going to continue to be challenges but God directs my steps. When I come to new territory, if I give it God and seek His wisdom He will show me how to handle it. He will show me how to honor my husband and submit to the Lord.

When we were first married I was not a believer. We both said we believed in God and that was the extent of our conversation. God was not first in our marriage. He wasn’t even last, He was entirely absent from it. About 5 years into our marriage it came to a breaking point because I was a horrible wife. Read my testimony here. When I was saved and became on fire for the Lord my husband was doing his own searching and it was taking him in the opposite direction. He is very intellectual and believes science proves there is no God.  He finally came to the point where he told me he didn’t believe Jesus was the son of God, then he believed the Bible was just man made stories, then…he didn’t believe in God.  I remember that day and was devasted. God only let me stay in that place of devastation for a day. He quickly picked me up and showed me over and over again that he was going to make something beautiful out of this.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant…bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4, 7‬ . Bearing with my husband is easy. He is not flawed in how he loves me. His integrity  and morals are high, his patience and kindness are always present, he loves me and our daughters fiercely. Grace rains down. I pray that his eyes will be opened and his heart receptive so that he will one day love God more fiercely than me.

To read more about my “scrambled egg” marriage, click on the “Unequally Yoked” link under Categories on the main page.