Category: Unequally Yoked

Obedience

On By HollyIn Sanctification, Unequally YokedLeave a comment

Obedience

Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. The Lord said “I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, from man to animals to creeping things and to birds of the sky; for I am sorry that I have made them.” But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord. Genesis 6:5-8

But I will establish My covenant with you; and you shall enter the ark- you and your sons and your wife and your sons’ wives with you. Genesis 6:18

Then the Lord said to Noah, “Enter the ark, you and all your household, for you alone I have seen to be righteous before Me in this time. Genesis 7:1

Noah did according to all that the Lord had commanded him. Genesis 7:5

The rain fell upon the earth for forty days and forty nights. On the very same day Noah and Shem and Ham and Japeth, the sons of Noah, and Noah’s wife and the three wives and his sons with them entered the ark,. Genesis 7:12-13

Thus He blotted out every living thing that was upon the face of the land, from man to animals to creeping things and to birds of the sky and they were blotted out from the earth; and only Noah was left, together with those that were with him in the ark. Genesis 7:23

I read the story of Noah and the flood a month ago and was overwhelmingly struck with a part of the story that had never resonated with me so strongly before; Noah’s obedience saved his family. I KNEW that intellectually, but this time when I read it the Holy Spirit showed me God’s words and they hit me right to my core. He has been pressing in on me about obedience to Him, and used Noah to really make it clear. How many times in the bible does God say “and your descendants” or “your sons”, or “your children” when describing our relationship with obedience and God and His love and concern for passing that down to our family. In just a VERY quick survey of the scriptures I found 11 examples of this, which only took me a minute so I know there is more. Now I am not saying that my obedience to God will make my daughter a Christian, but I do believe living in the home of a believer puts her under the influence of someone who has the Holy Spirit guiding me, to show her Christ, and THAT is the example I want for her. 1 Corinthians 17:13-14 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. This was one of the first scriptures God showed me for guidance in my marriage to a pre-believer ( my affectionate term for my husband who doesn’t believe in God).

One of the pearls of wisdom I have received during this lesson in obedience is this; Sin can have its affects for many years to come on us and those around us and to think about what sin does to the testimony of God’s name. This came from a wise Titus 2 woman from my MOMS group. My disobedience, my making excuses, my rationalizing what my flesh wants, my comparing what I am doing to someone else, all of that SIN, has an affect on not only me but my descendants! The obedience word, the reason it originally came up, the reason I have been “schooled” in this area by God is because of something so silly; Facebook. I have done every one of the above mentioned things, rationalizing, making excuses, etc…but God has made it clear, in MANY, MANY scriptures that, right now, Facebook is off limits for me, it just isn’t good for me. It is churning up things in me, like pride, and coveting, and it is also draining my time, it has become something that has enslaved me. Hmmm… what does God say about that? All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be enslaved by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12. Facebook isn’t bad in and of itself. Facebook isn’t a sin for everyone; I am only speaking of me. For me, I abuse it. That abuse of it, the addiction to it is the sin, the idol it is, that is the sin. I make the excuse that there are so many good pages on there I follow that I get a scripture from so it is okay. Most of those pages I can subscribe to get emails so I can still read them and bypass Facebook. I say that my family cannot see pictures of SG if I am not on there and the WHOLE world can’t follow the cute antics of my 3 year old. That is unhealthy pride in me. As Luke 10:42 puts it, only ONE thing is necessary, for Mary has chose the good part, which shall not be taken away from her. Am I sitting at Christ’s feet when I am on Facebook? Am I humbly seeking His wisdom? No, I am exaulting myself and my child. Ouch that hurts. It hurts bad. Thank my loving God for showing me that He will hide nothing from me, it is all in His Word, which I can plainly read in the Bible, I don’t have to find it in snippets of scripture on a pretty flowery background on a blog post on Facebook. Those things are fine, but I should be spending more time in comprehensive Word. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 – All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work. Again, friends, I am not saying those things are wrong for you, but I am addicted to Facebook, so they are wrong for me. I am not saying that down the road, Facebook might be healthy for me again, and a way to share Christ and the joy I have in Him, all I know is now, for the foreseeable future, I have been shown that being on Facebook is disobedience. Another loving act of God is that since I have been off Facebook this time, the desire for it has diminished. 1 Corinthians 10:13 – No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. It seems so silly that I am talking about Facebook when I am speaking of this verse. It just proves that the things of this world can be sneaky, they can draw you in. Anything that is not done in moderation can become an addiction and an idol. Even a silly website.

I was reminded, so timely, by my pastor in his sermon this past week that my obedience isn’t MY good work, it is from the Holy Spirit and by God’s grace. Titus 2:11-12 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age. I want my response to be, YES, I love you Lord, thank your for your instruction, YES to whatever you say. Sadly my response isn’t always that immediate but by God’s grace, He is working in me so that I am yielding to the Holy Sprit more. This is so hard to explain to a non believer but oh what joy to recognize this as a believer and to recognize it in other believers! I am not doing God a favor by obeying Him, I am not gaining more love from Him, I am not becoming more saved when I obey Him, but it is HIS gift to me! He wants what is best for me and by mercifully allowing me to abide in Him and receive the Holy Sprit to illuminate a passage of scripture that convicts my soul and shows me a sin I need to turn from and yield to the Holy Sprit in obedience, wow what a gift!!!

There is more irony, a wonderful story only God could write, about the word obedience. When I got married, before I was saved, I did not want the word “obey” in my vows. I was put off by that word. So much of society is put off by that word. It is a four letter word. I equated it to an animal, a dog, obeying its master. The difference in having your eyes opened is astounding. The fact that, THAT word was a point of contention for me almost ten years ago, and now I am writing about my LOVE for God showing me how to obey Him, is the hand of God. A miracle in my life. My disobedience was killing me, destroying me; I disobeyed every authority in my life then. I didn’t want any authority over me. To continue the wonderful story, the one ONLY God could write, guess what my first big test of faith was as a Christian? It was to obey God in submitting to an unbelieving spouse. I was saved half way into our almost ten year marriage. Several years ago my husband came to me, at the height of my yearning to know God more, at the time when I found a church home and was grounded in the Word and was for the first time ON FIRE for the Lord, my husband said he didn’t believe in God. Test. Refining. Buckle up. Here it comes. God wanted me to really turn to Him, to really rely only on Him and He gave me quite a shock to get my attention. Again, by His grace, His Word spoke exactly to my situation and told me what to do. Submit to your husband. Submit to ME, obey ME, by honoring your husband, EVEN when He doesn’t believe in Me. Proverbs 31:10 –An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. As stated above, 1 Corinthians 17:13 says to not send him away. 1 Peter 3 says to be submissive to him EVEN if he is disobedient so that my behavior speaks louder than any words I can say. Love, as so beautifully stated in 1 Corinthians 13:7 – bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Obedience is no longer a word I am uncomfortable saying. It is a word that to me, means love. It is also not about ME. It is first about God. 1 John 4:19 We love, because He first loved us. I want my response to God to be obedience so that I will cause “no hindrance to the gospel of Christ”. Romans 6:1-2 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it? I want my testimony to be showered with the word obey because God will receive the glory for the work He is doing in a girl’s life who HATED the word obey. I want my daughter to know why obeying is a beautiful response to the greatest act of love. His love for us. Christ’s substitutionary atonement for my sin, the reconciling work Jesus did on the cross, the forgiveness of my absolute rejection of God, all of that, needs a response. The only response that is appropriate, obedience.

Fortifying Wall

On By HollyIn Unequally YokedLeave a comment

Encouragement – the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.

Just insert “faith” or “Christ” and this definition speaks to us as Christians. The action of giving someone support in faith, confidence in faith, or hope in Christ.

Synonyms: inspiration, motivation, fortification. Yes, fortification! What a perfect word for what I feel the encouragement of others does for me. A defensive wall or other reinforcement built to strengthen a place against attack. THAT is what sisters in Christ do for each other. THAT is why we must go to each other, open ourselves, be vulnerable, share our struggles, share our victories. God is encouraging us through each other.

After an especially hard day with SG Wednesday, I reached out to a few friends via text, and was immediately encouraged. Then at bible study the following day, I continued to receive advice, wisdom, direction, resources, and prayers for that particular incident. On the way home it struck me that I knew NONE of those women 2 years ago. Most of you have come into my life within the past year. God has showered me with a vast array of women to call on, to seek out, to fellowship with. Some of you I see weekly and that hug and smile I get from you is exactly why you were placed in my life. There are women in my life who are also in a spiritually unequal marriages. These friendships are examples of God showing me He understands, He will provide all I need, and that I am not alone. There are some of you Titus 2 women who provide me with much wisdom, who challenge me to see beyond my circumstance, who share with me lessons learned. Each speaker and leader at the M.O.M.S. bible study is speaking to a room full of women, not personally to me, but it IS personally received by me. Your words and guidance speak directly to me, guided by God’s Word, and you are up there for a purpose.

In August 2013 I wrote in my prayer journal about desiring godly women in my life. Women who knew the love of God, who were in the Word, women who I could talk about things with who could point me to what God says about it. Women who I could see as examples, Titus 2 women. Women who would welcome me in. Women who I could encourage as well. Some of you I don’t know well, but the interactions I do have with you still show me Christ working in your life. In the past year God has given me friends I meet with or communicate with regularly. We get in the Word, we talk about life, we talk about Jesus, we drink coffee; lots and lots of coffee! He has provided me with women who have children around SG’s age to engage in play dates and activities. He has provided me with women who have been through the adoption process. My sea of godly women in my life abounds! I want to write this down, my gratitude for that, so I do not take it for granted. I know many women don’t have that fortifying support. I am overwhelmed, that God saw my need, heard my prayer and began dropping women into my life, one by one. Filling up an ocean around me of life giving, faith building, , God ordained relationships.

The sweetest times, the times I am most encouraged, are when I am talking to a friend and you stop and ask to pray with me. At that moment, God spoke to your heart and said, “Child, stop. Your sister is in need. Cry out to Me, lift her up to Me, so that she is reminded I am all that she needs.” Yesterday one of you did that for me, and I felt God’s hand in that moment on my situation because He called you to speak to Him on my behalf. Praying for one another is the BEST gift we can give. Those of you that tell me you have been praying for my husband are treasured friends. Again, I didn’t know you a year ago, and God has gifted me with your prayers now.

Do you see??? Do you see all that God can do in one life, with one life. Your one life has affected mine. All of your lives have built a wall around me, fortifying me. A wall I didn’t have a year or so ago. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words, your prayers, your friendship, your guidance, your time, your intentionality, your obedience to God. I thank my God for each of you. I say that I am overwhelmed a lot but it is true. When I think of what God has decided to gift me with, how he came for me, rescued me, forgave me, and showers me with love, through His Word, through you, through trials, through His Son. Overwhelmed doesn’t begin to describe it.I pray I can be an encouragement and be a part of fortifying someone else!

She Does Him Good

On By HollyIn Sanctification, Unequally YokedLeave a comment

I am doing a bible study on Respectable Sins and I was heavily convicted when I left bible study this morning. My mind was churning as I was planning out how I was going to carve out some time to sit with hubby, one on one, and apologize to him. My impatience, irritability, and anger are targeted at him 99% of the time. I have such a great love for him, as you know, I brag on what a great husband he is all the time. Yet, I say those words to you, but don’t always go home to him and make him feel like the man he is. So leaving bible study this morning I knew I had to go to him and ask for his forgiveness.

I get in my car, call him, and drive towards my mom’s to pick up SG. I tell him that my bible study this morning was really hard in the sense that it showed me some ugly things about myself. He stopped me and asked me if I would meet him for lunch so we could talk about it. He said we should take this chance while SG is with Nana, and have a lunch together before our busy routine gets underway due to his fall semester starting up and our usual season of not seeing each other much. I was thrilled with his invite and knew this was the opportunity God was giving me to have some alone time with him to confess and ask for forgiveness.

We meet at Olive Garden and I start talking. I told him that I am aware that as my husband, I should treat him better than any other human being, and that in my heart I want to, but that my selfishness, and pride, and SIN prevent me from doing that. I asked him to forgive me and told him that I was committed to working on this above all else. I know God is showing me this is more important than any other mentoring or card ministry I have. I send cards out to encourage others, to brighten their day, to shine God’s love on them, yet how many notes or cards do you think I have given my husband in the past year? Maybe one for his birthday.

Do you know what my husband’s response was? He said I needed to give myself some credit, he said I am much better than I used to be. HE NOTICED! How many times have I felt frustrated that he wasn’t seeing a change in me, from the person I was before I was saved, to now.  How many times have I felt like he wasn’t giving me the credit I was DUE. Well guess what? God spoke to me loud and clear, God deserves the credit not me. My pride was seeking out approval and praise from my husband. When I finally humbled myself, and went to my husband with sincerity, asking for his forgiveness, THAT is when the Lord blessed me with the sweet response from my husband.

Needless to say we had a wonderful lunch, I didn’t nag once 🙂 I read him the Proverbs 31:10-12 passage and told him that was my desire, my commitment to him. He said that was a really nice verse!

Proverbs 31:10-12 – An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil, all the days of her life.

My husband still doesn’t believe in God, but God is still in the center of our marriage. God is teaching me how to back off, to raise my husband up, to encourage him, to lift him up, and do him good, not evil. In doing so, God is blessing our marriage so beautifully. I am so in love with him. I no longer want to describe myself as spiritually single, because God is my portion. God provides everything I need in my husband. So there is no part of me that is “single”. That puts a cloud over my marriage that isn’t true. I am fully committed to hubby, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He may not read devotions with me or go to church or pray with me, but when I need his support in my walk with the Lord, my husband IS there. He came to my baptism, he supports my church financially, he attends functions and wants to know my church friends. I am NOT spiritually single. I am exactly where God wants me to be.

 

Ask and it will be Given to You

On By HollyIn God's Word, Unequally YokedLeave a comment

2 Corinthians 4:18 – while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

1John 2:15, 17 – Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him…The world is passing away, and also its lust; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.

1 John 5:21 – Little children, guard yourselves from idols.

At times (more than I would like to admit), I look for my value in “likes” and comments on Facebook . I look for my value in how many compliments my husband gives me. I look for my value in the number of vegetables SG eats. The greatest of these false values and idols I have is Facebook. While I have taken it off my phone and feel like progress IS being made, there are still desires to pop on the computer and check it when I think I have a spare moment.

Last night and this morning, I had a victory over this. After  a discussion in Lifegroup last night and my prayers to the Lord to guide and direct me in my Bible reading, I picked up my bible when I got home last night. I don’t usually read the Bible in bed at night (one of the few times I feel like I could get a lot of reading done) because I don’t want to make my husband feel uncomfortable. But last night I realized this; The Lord has placed me in a spiritually unequal marriage. He also wants me to read my bible. So I need to let go of my “hiding” and trying to be so protective of him in regards to my Bible studies. He knows I believe in God. He knows I read the Bible. So he SHOULD see me reading it, otherwise he is not seeing me follow up on my beliefs. I see him doing math studies because he is a math teacher. So he can see me doing Bible study because I am a daughter of the King!

So, I picked up my Bible and prayer journal and picked up where I left off in Genesis.(instead of grapping by phone and checking Facebook) And guess what?! My husband just went to sleep. No big deal. While I was reading I was enjoying what I was learning. And I went to bed thanking God for doing exactly what I asked about last night. How quickly He delivered! I learned that Genesis ends with Joseph dyeing. That is just one of the little things I learned but it is starting to sink in, it is starting to seem less overwhelming. This morning I was hungry for it even more. So I started Exodus over breakfast. Then hubby and SG when to clean up the car which left me with some more alone time to read further. Another moment to thank God for! My excuse of not having time is not true. If I ask for it, God will show me those little moments I can do some reading. Proverbs 8:17 – I love those who love me; and those who diligently seek me will find me.

It isn’t just about the history either, which was my goal when starting to read the Old Testament. I want to get a better background and understanding of the timelines, authors, etc.. As I am reading I am getting so much more though. Learning about Moses and his insecurities about speaking hit home to me. Exodus 4:10 – Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since You have spoken to Your servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” I SO relate to this. I feel like I can only communicate effectively when I write and when I actually speak it is all wrong. But God’s answer? Exodus 4:11 -“Who has made man’s mouth?…Now then go, and I, even, I will be with your mouth and teach you what you are to say.” 

THAT is the power of the Word. While I was searching for “history” God taught me something that I can personally relate to. How marvelous is that ??!! He also showed me more of who He is which draws me closer to Him. Studying the Bible should be about Him and my relationship with Him, not just a history lesson.  That is what His Word can do.

Lord depend my desire and earning for your Word, for YOU!  It is far more important that any book or any website. It is living and active as Hebrews states, but we must OPEN it to bring it alive.

BBQ

On By HollyIn Unequally YokedLeave a comment

I’m not sure if I am going to be able to adequately express myself with this keyboard but I am going to try. I am filled with so much praise and thanksgiving for the gift the Lord gave me yesterday in having my husband attend the BBQ fundraiser. To be able to fellowship with him, at my church home, with my church family, still brings tears to my eyes. Tears of gratitude for the afternoon the Lord ordained for all of this to fall into place.

I am so happy the lunch benefited the youth and that I was able to help be a part of that. But to me the lunch was so much more than that. It was the day my husband walked into the church building, nervous I am sure, afraid of others seeing him as a “heathen” as he jokingly calls himself sometimes, and instead was greeted with no judgment. Matthew 7:1 – Do not judge so that you will not be judged. He was greeted with smiling faces, who gave of their time and talents for this event to take place, serving him food and graciously doing so. Romans 12:13 – contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. Those that engaged him in conversation did so with genuine interest in him, instead of approaching him with pointed questions of his faith, which would have turned him off. Hebrews 13:1-3 – Let love of the brethren continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember the prisoners, as though in prison with them. My husband is a prisoner right know. I don’t know if he saw it as anything other than a BBQ because he is blind right now but God can turn that around! I have faith in God’s plan, whatever it is. Isaiah 42:7 – To open blind eyes, To bring out prisoners from the dungeon, And those who dwell in darkness from prison.

God’s Word teaches us what to do, in every situation, even a BBQ. Because His good and faithful servants read His word and responded to it by not judging, but loving and being hospitable, my family was greatly blessed. He was able to not only speak to each of the pastors, but he met many of my good friends who encourage me weekly and he was treated as my husband and a friend, not as an outcast or someone who didn’t belong.

It may have been a BBQ lunch on paper plates and pavement, but to me it was the best date I could have had with him. I do not take it for granted, the sweet renewal God gave me yesterday, assuring me I am in the right place. He has assured me that the greatest ministry I can be a part of, for the Kingdom and for Harvest, is the ministry to my husband, the time and love that I can give him is my greatest outreach and calling. I again am in awe of all God has lined up for me, in letting me be a part of the Ambassadors Ministry, sending cards from home, so my time isn’t taken away from my husband. He is SO good to me! Psalm 13:5-6 – But I have trusted in your faithful love; my heart will rejoice in your deliverance. I will sing to the Lord because he has treated me generously.

Matthew 5:16 -Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. Thank you Harvest family, for being that light that shown so bright.